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WhiteCoal

Portal 2 Is Homo-Erotic

22 posts in this topic

This is not slamming the religious views of any/all Christians, but god damn, this guy has to have something wrong with him in his views. The article states that Portal 2 is a mad house of homosexuality and gayness.

Here it is:

As a Christian father, I choose not to allow video games into my household, but occasionally my boys will have sleep overs with other Christian families that might be more lax than ours. Imagine my surprise the other day when I overheard my second oldest boy talking about a video game he had played at a friend’s house. As soon as I heard the name “Portal 2”, my suspicions grew and I immediately found myself wondering which body part the game might be referring to.

I rushed to the computer that I keep locked away from my impressionable children, and what I found was truly disturbing. Just 10 minutes of Bing research produced so much evidence that this game was a homosexual recruitment tool that I have now forbidden it. You better believe that I called the other father and gave him a good talking to. As a devout Christian, he agreed with me and has now burned his Portal 2 DVD on his barbeque grill to make sure this threat to his family is gone for good.

Here are some of the things I have learned: This game is made by Valve software, a wholly owned subsidiary of NAMBLA – the people who invented child molestation. Just the name “valve” produces images in the mind of a Christian man that should not be there.

portal2-2.jpg

Should children be forced to see a room full of giant black dildoes?

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An actual AID’s infested bath house.

Game play takes place in a giant gay bath house, where children are encouraged to use their mechanical penis guns to create glory holes. In case you haven’t heard of this filth, “glory holes” are all the rage in gay circles, where sweating homosexuals drill holes into walls and then perform sex through them, without having to show their guilt ridden faces. There is one thing a homosexual hates, and that is for their shame to be seen in the light of day. That is why their bars and bath houses are kept so dark at all times. And believe me friend, this game is dark and shadowy.

portal-2-gamescom-2010-screenshots.jpg

Glory hole in the game.

courtesy-of-Steamworks-5.jpg

Glory hole in homo-gay bath house. Hard to tell the difference, right?

There are two adorable robots. Who doesn’t love robots? Kids sure do. Well, these 2 robots are a homosexual couple. The tall one is the dominate bear and the little one is the swishing bottom. Even the voices are clearly transexual which is a dead give away. I shudder to think of what life style choices a little child will think is decent after pretending to be one of these two mechanical gays. Instead of penises, they have glowing red and blue lights in their sex area.

portal-2-co-op-pax-2010-screenshots.jpg

What is being taught to our children?

=Image snipped due to inappropriate material=

Is this what you want for your white Chrisian son?

As if that was not enough, there are mechanical testicles and gay saunas around every corner. Not enough? Well this game introduces “gels” which help the innocent children slide through a glowing red sphincter.

portal-2-red-gel-chamber_488x293.jpg

I could go on, but my stomach is turning at this latest homo-gay invention. There is nothing christ-centered in this game. Protect your children from this latest assault from the gay agenda.

gay bath house filfth, just like the game.

That is the actual article. Here is the link if you wish to read the article on the website:

Reader be warned, this guy is an ass.

Edit: This article REEKS of trolls.

Edited by WhiteCoal

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It's satire

Im aware. But when people use racist/sexual jokes, I get a wee bit upset. Im not angry, just disappointing. As usual.

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Much like Landover Baptist lol

Nonetheless that article was truly trollolololific. I enjoyed it, much like how I enjoy gay bath house gloryholes.

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You're aware it's satire, but you're offended that it uses exaggerated homophobia to insult homophobes?

Wut?

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you had me at "where sweating homosexuals drill holes into walls" ...something about that line alone is both funny and clearly satire...that and homo-gay :D

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I did understand it was satire. I just draw my humor line at homosexuality or prejudices.

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So you're both literally and figuratively butthurt.

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So you're both literally and figuratively butthurt.

bahahahahaha

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I don't think you realized it was satire.

I'm going to have to side with Noobbot on this one, or at least you didn't realize it until 6 minutes after posting which your edit suggests. Considering you blame Christianity for this even though it's made to poke fun at said religious followers.

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I'm going to have to side with Noobbot on this one, or at least you didn't realize it until 6 minutes after posting which your edit suggests. Considering you blame Christianity for this even though it's made to poke fun at said religious followers.

1. I forgot to add that the article reeked of trolls.

2. Yea. That was a mistake.

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Hah, It was a simple mistake. ;) This won't happen any more.

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I did understand it was satire. I just draw my humor line at homosexuality or prejudices.

But I like racism and fag-bashing.

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But I like racism and fag-bashing.

Because you are a white straight dude.

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OH SHIT YOU JUST GOT FUCKIN TOLD SON

but what is a Noobbot if not a dispencer of awesome impressions of southern dude saying shit like "queermosexuals" and stoner guy "who like has all this bud brooooo" ...2 nice reflections of his environment, the first being his area and the 2nd being maxx. :D

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Noobbot does do a pretty sweet impression of me, I gotta say.

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Because you are a white straight dude.

I think I'd like it even if I were a rainbow colored queermosexual.

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